Mr. Romance...NOT!

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. ~Ephesians 5:21

February is often the month where we think of sweethearts on St. Valentine’s Day and all things romantic. When it comes to romance, I am the world’s biggest idiot. I feel completely inept in the area of creating what a woman might find romantic and for me there is no romantic vision. I like candles. I like fireplaces. I like soft music, sometimes. But by and large, I lose in this category.

I dare say I am not alone in this. Most men find romancing a tiresome and awkward agenda. One author on the topic of male/female relationships once said men are like microwaves and women are like crock pots. The romantic agenda is more often for her than for him. She needs to warm up. But more importantly she needs to feel loved and appreciated. Men, while not too open about this, also need to know they are loved and appreciated and needed by their spouse.

So erring on the point that I know little or nothing on this subject, I will turn to the apostle Paul who knew nothing about marriage either, since he was celibate!!! But he does have some good thoughts for married and unmarried folks that he believes are the sort of things we disciples of Jesus ought to think about.

Ephesians 5:21 states that we are to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” For Paul, in this problematic passage that follows, his chief concern is that the right witness is given to those who watch the Christian. In Paul’s day, a woman was sort of property to the husband and her obedience was expected as sign of what godly women do out of love for their husbands and in obedience to God. But because men have used this arrangement as a means of oppressing their wives, an explanation is needed. Paul wishes both partners in a traditional marriage relationship to consider first their relationship with Christ as guiding and empowering how they relate to their spouse. A man must learn to humble himself before God and become a servant to his wife.

Paul tells husbands to love their wives like Jesus loved the church, giving himself up to death on a cross as a means of cleansing his bride and lifting her up spotless and clean and prized. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives by sacrificing himself for the sake of their unity. It’s in little things I find, like doing something that puts me out of my normal routine, that extra effort lets Michele know that I love her. When I give up doing something I want to do in order to do something she wants or likes, I show her in a small way the sacrificial love of Jesus. Chick Flicks, anyone?

Wives submit to their husbands in the same way by showing Christ’s love in humility before God. For this Valentine’s Day, think about a way you can put yourself out for your loved ones. You don’t need to spill blood, but you do need to eat humble pie and love it, for Christ and your loved one! Have a great romance.

I recognize this article leaves out widows and the unmarried. Paul spoke to such persons in 1 Corinthians 7. The long and short of it is that you are blessed to be free from relationship issues in your home and are fee to serve the Lord and love Him with a complete unfettered agenda. You need not worry about pleasing your spouse. The Lord is your pleasure if He has so gifted you with the delight in Him.

I hope these biblical teachings stir up in you a desire to love Christ and others with the love you see in Jesus.