The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” (NLT) ~ Genesis 3:12
Blame Game
We all know this story. Adam and Eve ate the apple and we lost paradise. According to the rock singer Meatloaf, we regained paradise by the dashboard lights! Original Sin, no less paradise, has often been misrepresented as sexual in nature. To lust and fornicate is original sin in some people’s estimation. The band Aerosmith wrote in their song Adam’s Apple, “She ate it. Lordy, it was love at first bite. Well she ate it never knowing wrong from right.” Not an accurate retelling of the biblical story. The song minimizes the sin of eating forbidden fruit by sympathizing that all she wanted was “a little taste.”
The truth is that Adam and Eve listened to the serpent’s lie rather than God’s command. The serpent told them they would not die, but rather become like God with their eyes wide open. She wanted more than a little taste. She wanted it all. She and Adam wanted to be like God, unlimited in knowledge. The serpent made it sound like God didn’t want the man and woman to know what He knew. Perhaps Adam and Eve didn’t want to be out done by God.
Original Sin in this context is simply refusing to take God at His word. It is a lack of faith. All manner of sin springs from this filthy well. Fear drives the sinful mind. Where faith fails, fear’s near. Adam and Eve feared that God had something they didn’t, knowledge of evil. There seemed in their minds an injustice or an imbalance of power. To right this perceived wrong, they disobeyed God’s warning and ate of the tree and they became aware of their shame. So they hid.
Hiding from God is a ridiculous notion. The truth cannot be hidden indefinitely. And God knows our inmost thoughts. Hiding from God only shows our foolishness. Hiding our sin from our spouse is likewise foolish. “The truth will out,” as they say.
Adam answered God when he was called out. Instead of admitting his guilt, he passed the blame on to Eve. Eve, when confronted, passed the blame to the serpent. Evidently the serpent had no one to whom the blame could be passed. Instead they all bore the consequence of their sin.
Michele notes that in our marriage we’ve played the blame game lots of times, but she can’t remember a specific incident. In general when she senses I am mad at her, she gets defensive and wants to shift the blame. Is the reason that we can’t think of a specific incident of the blame game an indication that we’ve learned to forgive and forget? Or is it because we are hiding and ashamed? We can become experts at hiding our guilt from our own eyes so that we don’t have to take responsibility for our actions.
What about you? Are you able to be honest about your sin? At what times do you behave like you are God and not his obedient child? When have you felt the need to push the blame off on your spouse, or a child, or another person in your family, church or work? Talk with your spouse about how you each tend to hide in the bushes to keep from owning up to your failures and weaknesses.
Sin has character in the bible. God told Cain “sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it (Gen. 4:7).” The serpent crawls in the dust from which we came. In a sense sin crawls on us. God breathed his breath of life into the dust to bring us to life. But we are always in between our longing to be completely filled with the breath of life and united with God and the dust of the ground where the serpent feeds on our fear.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Companionship
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
~ Genesis 2:18
God created man from the dust of the ground and breathed into him the breath of life and he became a living being. Man is nothing but dirt, apart from the life-giving God. Without God, we have no real life. Humans are made in God’s image and meant to be filled with the knowledge of He who blesses and calls us to tend His earth.
Yet companionship with God alone, apparently was not all that man needed. God saw that is wasn’t good for man to be alone. He made for him a helpmate from his own body. My father used to joke that when God took a rib from Adam’s side, women have been a pain ever since! He used to say, “woman = woe unto man!” This of course would cause my mother to roll her eyes and have a few rebuttals of her own, which was the whole point anyway, to get a rise out of his wife! Fun times at the expense of the biblical story!
In truth, God created woman from Adam’s side, near his vital organs, so as to communicate the delicate and intimate connection between him and her. One rabbinical teaching says that God took the bone to create Eve, not from the head so as to imply that she would rule over the man, or from the foot to imply that Adam would keep her under his domination, but from the rib as equals. It made Adam vulnerable to her and Eve to him.
The intimacy and vulnerability are communicated in verses like Gen. 2:23 “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” Also in verse 24, “a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” One translation states that the man shall cleave or hold fast to his wife, much like a vulnerable child clings to his or her mother.
Before we get too mushy romantic or too embarrassed from some threatened sense of masculinity, let’s read the last verse, Gen. 2:25. “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” From the beginning the woman does not exist apart from man. She must be near his side for that is home to her. Neither can man deny the need he has for the comfort she brings him as his faithful and loving partner. We should never feel shame to be vulnerable in this way to each other. Nakedness is less about sexuality and more about an innocence that husband and wife share when God has brought them together.
Michele remembers when we were dating that we both agreed that God brought us together; that He made us for each other. She admits that “even though we’ve had our share of trials through the years, it is with Scott that I most want to spend my time. Before I make plans to do something without him I check first with him. When we are apart, I tell him not to have too much fun without me. I don’t want to miss out on anything.” While other friendships are important, this is the one relationship that feels God picked.
That one flesh connection that God brings about in marriage is kind of like that Rod Stewart song, You’re In My Heart. “You’re in my heart. You’re in my soul, You'll be my breath should I grow old. You are my lover, you're my best friend. You're in my soul.”
In what ways do you and your spouse exhibit this one flesh connection? Are you unashamed of the need you have for one another in this intimate partnership? What would happen if you both recognized your utter need for each other?
What if men recognized that they need their wives affections like a boy needs his mother’s love? What if women recognized that the place they feel most at home is at her man’s side, the man God has given to her? Perhaps we might find healthier marriages, happier homes and a better society for the next generation.
Fruitfulness
Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:28
Day 6 - Fruitfulness
On the sixth day God created humans, male and female in His image. And He appointed us to govern the animals and all the earth with His divine authority. God blessed humans and told us to be fruitful; to increase in number and fill the earth.
Some religious traditions hold that marriage and sexual union are for procreation, not primarily for enjoyment. Our fruitfulness has increased human population to well over 6 billion and growing exponentially each year. With limited resources can humans continue to procreate at this same alarming rate? Might God be calling for fruitfulness in ways other than procreation?
As Michele and I discussed this passage, we thought about fruitfulness. How does God want us to increase in numbers? Jesus told his disciples to “Go into all the world and preach the gospel (good news) to every creature (Mk 16:15).” Sounds similar to creation language, does it not? We are called to witness to God’s loving act of salvation through Jesus Christ to all the world, to every creature. Our deeds speak the loudest message. How are our deeds good news to others? Jesus said to “go and make disciples of all the nations (Mat 28:19).” Fruitfulness could be defined by actions that communicate God’s love to others, inviting them to want to know and serve Christ as we do, increasing the size of God’s family.
Michele remembered a time when she was a recipient of good news. I was working out of town and she experienced a miscarriage. It was in the first 6 weeks so neither of us was expecting a baby. It was devastating for Michele and I was not there to comfort her. A friend from church, however, came to be with her and provided support while I was away. Michele experienced God’s love and the gospel through this act of kindness.
I did not know how to feel about the loss. Michele was deeply saddened, but I struggled to feel anything, but indifference. One night about a month later while I was at home alone, a knock came at the door. It was a floral delivery. I accepted a single red rose with a card attached. We had kept the miscarriage a private matter, but apparently the word had gotten out. The card, signed by our church choir to which we belonged, expressed sympathy for our loss. Staring at this symbol of caring, I suddenly wept. Somehow that act of compassion gave me permission to grieve our loss. This act of love freed my confused heart, like light shining brightly in the darkness.
Your marriage serves you the opportunity to reflect God’s image by the way you love each other and in the way you serve your neighbors. Together you become for your neighbors a sign of God’s creative presence. You are a light from God in an otherwise dark world. Your loving action as a couple is good news. Others will want to belong to the God you represent.
Be fruitful by loving as Christ loved, giving as Christ gave. First love God completely, and He will enable you to love each other even more deeply. Love your spouse, your children and extended family, your neighbors and your church. And show loving hospitality to strangers. God has blessed you, giving you authority in His name and commanded you to increase the size of His family. Let there be.
The Sabbath
By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.
~ Genesis 2:2 -3
Day 7 - Sabbath: A Day of Delight
In six days God created the heavens and the earth and on the seventh day he rested from His work. God delighted in the good creation for indeed it was “very good.” He blessed the Sabbath, the seventh day, and made it holy, set apart simply for us to rest along with Him, to share in His delight in the good creation. We delight in our creator and enjoy the fruit of His work each week at our places of worship and in our homes among our loved ones.
Sundays are the traditional family day in many Christian households. For others it is sunset on Friday to sunset on Saturday. How are you keeping the Sabbath holy as a time completely dedicated to resting in God’s love and delighting with one another?
Michele and I love to take afternoon naps and enjoy each other. We may relax by seeing a movie we enjoy. We always discuss together with our children the sermon we received during worship. We play board games and laugh a lot. We include friends from church or the neighborhood and socialize with them either informally or at a church program. It is a renewing time. And it is a time for us to be intimate before our God.
It is rumored that a Jewish tradition is to make love to your spouse on Sabbath as a means of enjoying the goodness of creation and delighting in one another. Whatever your understanding of how to keep Sabbath, discipline yourselves to take one day out of seven to stop work and join God in delighting in the good things of this earth. Worship with God’s family. Pray. Read. Feast. Take a stroll in the park, or a walk around the neighborhood. Visit Friends. Take a short trip to the lake, beach or mountain. Do some gardening if that brings you joy and helps you connect with the creator.
We practiced a family discussion each Sunday when our children were little. We asked a question and each of us drew a picture, and then shared how the picture expressed our answer. When Michele was pregnant with our third child, Anthony, we asked how each of us felt about the new baby coming. Erika, our middle child was 3 years old and scribbled something colorful. She explained that the picture was of her sitting on a rock out in front of our home waiting on Mommy to come home. She was waiting for Mommy to pick her up and hold her. In her little heart she recognized that Mommy was going to be holding a new baby and she was feeling sad that Mommy wouldn’t be able to hold her anymore. We reassured her that we would always have time for holding her. God spoke through our little girl that day, something we would have missed if we weren’t keeping Sabbath.
God has set aside the Sabbath as a day holy unto Him. It is a special day each week just for resting in His life-giving presence and simply taking joy in all the goodness of this life. Count your blessings and thank God. In the same way that God brought light into darkness and separated the cosmic waters to make a space for the living earth, God will do recreating work in your soul. All who are in Christ are a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17). Keeping Sabbath well is maintaining and deepening that “in Christ” status.
Remember the Sabbath and keep it set aside as completely God’s day to love, renew, and enjoy!
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