A Verse to Hang Your Hat On

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” ~ Romans 8:28

Have you ever heard people from New England or Michigan speak? Their “r” is barely noticeable. I heard a comedian once joking about a fellow from Boston who said that his father had a “hat” attack. Cardiac arrest aside, I have a few biblical verses that “I hang my hat (heart) on.” That’s an old saying (origin unknown to me) related to a place where you call home, a place of security. If I hang my hat on an idea, it means I feel secure in my adherence to that idea.

One such verse is Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” This implies a worldview where there is a God working for good in all things. It says to me that in the good, bad and ugly of life, God is at work taking life as it is presented to Him and bringing about blessings. This does not mean that I will feel good about an ugly event like the murder of children. It doesn’t mean that God wills for such ugliness to occur. What it does recognize is that suffering happens in this fallen world in its “bondage to decay” (Rom 8:21). Yet, while suffering occurs, God responds by working good for those whose hearts belong to Him and dedicate themselves to working with God in His work of restoring this broken world.

Time and time again, as Michele and I face “trials of many kinds” (James 1:2-4), we return to this understanding. We are comforted with a sense of security when we acknowledge that God is on the job working for good. We may not see the good God is doing, but we have faith that such good will come. It doesn’t matter to us if we benefit directly from the good. We are pleased to believe that something beautiful, something good will come out of the trial.

Recently we reconnected with one of our friends who served as an usher at our wedding all those years ago. We hadn’t seen him in a couple of years and inquired about his family. He had married later in life to a woman with a troubled teenager. Problems at their home sometime brought the police to their doorstep. It was a harrowing time for them and they feared for their daughter’s life with her destructive behavior and rebellious attitude.

What a delight it was to hear how God had worked for good in their lives. The teen had sued our friends for emancipation, but was placed at a Christian children’s home under supervision by the court until she reached 18 years. During that time the teen found healing for her heart and coping skills. Now in her mid-twenties she is a mother and employed full time as a counselor for child victims of domestic violence. God took a wounded girl and helped her become a healer.

What is a verse of scripture you hang your heart on?
Discuss with your spouse some of your favorite verses or passages.
If you can’t think of a passage, discuss how you feel about Romans 8:28.

The Coat Hanger

Ephesians 5:21 “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

The apostle Paul gives this simple encouragement to the church. It seems simple, but it reflects how submission to Christ changes our relationships. When we learn how to rever Christ, by submitting our lives to Him in humility and obedience, we find that we are able to surrender our lives in love to others.

This goes a very long way in illustrating how Christ intends his married couples to behave. Paul follows in Eph. 5:22 by telling wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Her submission to her husband is prefigured or modeled in her submission to Christ her Lord. In the same way Paul urges the man in Eph. 5: 25 to “love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Husbands are to follow the self-sacrificing love that Jesus showed the church by giving His life as a ransom in order that we might be saved. Christ shed His blood on the cross to “present the church to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” Christ’s self-emptying love rings about a transformation by those He loved. In the same way husbands and wives are called to love each other like Jesus loves each one through a self-emptying love.

I always use the coat hanger as a symbol of the Christian covenant of marriage. Most of my couples have never thought of their relationship in this way. Refer to the picture above. Most often we think of marriage as a 50/50 proposition. He throws in his half with hers and the two make a go of it. Some poor folks actually agree that “if it doesn’t work out, we can always get a divorce.” Is it any wonder with such an approach to the marriage covenant that 50% of our marriages in America end in divorce?

We are so trained to think as liberated individuals that we fail to see that marriage is a relationship started by God’s action and held together by God’s grace. Every covenant is initiated by God’s invitation. God invited humans to “be fruitful and multiply, to fill the earth and subdue it.” God invited Abram to follow Him to Canaan and God would make Abram the father of many nations and bless him and those who bless Abram. God invited Moses and the Israelites to join Him into a holy community by following His holy law, summarized in the 10 commandments. In the same way God brings together a man and woman and invites them into a covenant where the two will become one flesh.

As such a husband must acknowledge the author of his marriage, namely His creator. The more he pursues a vital faith, the stronger he will be as a husband to his wife. And a woman likewise must love the Lord and grow in her devotion to Christ. The stronger her relationship with Christ, the stronger she will be in her marriage to her husband. The success of the Christian marriage is dependent upon Christ’s grace at work in the husband and wife.

We know Christ as the good shepherd who lays down his life for the sheep. We know from Psalm 23 that the Lord our shepherd leads us to refreshment, righteousness, walks with us through the dark valleys of our life journey and brings us to a place of security where we can affirm that good and mercy follow us always and we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. The hook on the coat hanger reminds us of this Shepherd God. The triangular shape of the coat hanger reminds us of the correlation between our submission to Christ and the strength of our marriage.

Discuss together how you feel about the coat hanger as a symbol for marriage. Share with one another one or two areas in your relationship with Christ where you think you need to grow. Ask your spouse to share with you an area he or she would like to see you grow as a spouse.